


killing me softly

by ahana



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Utopia, F/M, Soulmates, VMTAP20, bonnie and clyde - Freeform, every utopia is a dystopia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:22:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahana/pseuds/ahana
Summary: Veronica doesn’t have a soulmate anymore. She has Logan.Cross-posted ontumblr.
Relationships: Logan Echolls/Veronica Mars
Comments: 22
Kudos: 34





	killing me softly

Logan pulls their bags out of the trunk with a huff. They might need to lose some of their possessions; the bags are becoming too heavy for any potential travel by foot. If only they could steal a teleportation ring from the Authorities. Mac could remove the tracking system and rewire it so it could be used without restrictions. Fuck, they’d get away so quickly.

“I got into Solitaire,” he hears from behind him. 

It takes a few seconds to seep in, for him to understand what she said and what it means. 

“You what?” He turns around to face her. The sun is setting behind her and even with her chin high and face set in stone, she looks like a fucking miracle. Her blonde hair turns into her halo and for a quick second Logan forgets why there is anger and confusion warring in his chest.

And then she speaks. 

“I applied to Solitaire three days ago,” Veronica says. “I got in.” 

The Solitaire program is a new initiative by Kane Industries. Logan was there when they debuted it ten years ago with a series of grand parties and uptight ceremonies. Described as a utopia for rejected soulmates or voluntary singles, Solitaire requires applicants to give up their emotions in exchange for a soulmate-less life. Your soulmate’s memories of you will be wiped and they will be issued a new soulmate. You, on the other hand, keep your memories but have to live life on your own with no other companion.

“You voluntarily applied?” He sounds calmer than he feels. In fact, he sounds like he’s unaffected by her news even though his whole body is palpitating and blood is pounding in his ears. His vision blurs and all he can see is Veronica standing in her dirty overalls — chin held high but still wringing her hands over and over again.

It doesn’t make sense. 

Veronica had already rejected her soulmate. Two years ago, she kissed Logan in his father’s swimming pool and immediately forsook her soulmate — his best friend, Duncan Kane. She ran away from meetings and parties to see him, he worked cases with her and spent his nights in her bed. When Duncan found out, she did it all again and chose to be on the run from the Authorities as long as it meant being with Logan. 

Veronica doesn’t have a soulmate anymore. She has Logan.

“Last month, an Authority approached me in the convenience store. He offered me a deal, off the record,” she says. “I could go to Solitaire voluntarily and they’d keep Wallace and Darrell safe. I wouldn’t even have to go to prison.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” he says immediately. 

“It’s not. Mac looked into it.” 

“Veronica -” 

“My dad died, Logan!” she yells. “He’s gone and he’s never coming back and it’s my fault!” 

Logan takes a step back as she walks toward him. Her hands are shaking as she brushes her hair away from her face. Tears make their way down her face in rapid streams. 

“I could have been there to protect him,” she says. “He was working my case! I could have saved him but instead, I’m on my fifth month running from the Authorities and lying to everyone I know about practically everything and I’m so fucking tired and so angry, Logan. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be!”

“Don’t you think I know that?” he asks. Everything around him is spinning and he feels like the air’s been punched out of him. “We were supposed to be happy! I know that. But, Veronica, it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”

“That’s not the –”

“I love you, Veronica!” he yells. “Only you. Always.” 

Silence hangs over them like a vice, choking every last second they might ever get together. Logan’s palms are sweaty and he wants, so badly, to rub them on his pants but the thought of moving seems impossible to him. 

It’s not like he didn’t know Veronica was feeling exhausted. All the running and scraping away and looking over their shoulders was taking its toll on them. They’re not happy the way they thought they would be when they decided Kane Industries could go fuck itself. Being fugitives was not as easy as they thought it would be, even with all their experience. But that’s only until they reach the Edge. Weevil told him that his contact would be waiting to ferry them across the Edge and they’d never have to look back at this world again. Frankly, the thought of him and Veronica living peacefully was what kept him going on most days. 

But Veronica’s face is crumpled, her cheeks are flushed. She looks like she’s trying to deliver bad news to someone who refused to leave the land of denial and this is not how it was supposed to be.

There’s a million things he could be saying to her right now — like how much he loves her and how much he needs her and how close they are to ending all of this — but his mind is infuriatingly blank and all he can think, over and over again, like some fucking broken radio, is _i love you i love you i love you_.

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been standing there. The sky might be dark. He can’t tell. Was that a siren? Fuck if he knows. He’s got tunnel vision and all he sees is Veronica looking at him like he’s the only thing she sees. 

Finally, he speaks. 

“When did you hear back?”

If he remembers correctly from the gaudy brochures at the Kane parties, applicants have a hundred days from their confirmation date before they have to report to the Mainland in order to help them get their affairs in order. 

She looks up, surprised. “Um… today morning.” 

So, there it is. Logan has a hundred days to convince the love of his life to stay.

**Author's Note:**

> So this is just an excerpt of what will hopefully become a bigger fic. I, however, don't do well with multitasking several projects at once so I want to finish the other fics that I have waiting in the wings first. 
> 
> I came up with this literally yesterday and it is all a big mess but I wanted to sneak this in for the Soulmate trope in Trope-A-Palooza. It’s inspired by Plato’s _The Symposium_ and the _Matched_ series along with the films _The Lobster_ and _Equals_. I hope it makes sense?
> 
> [Edited for grammatical errors post-publication]


End file.
